Grandpa.

What I would give for just one more moment with you

Just one more moment to see you

to tell you I love you

to tell you goodbye

But as much as I wish that was possible

I know it isn't

So I will wait

I will wait until I see you in heaven

Because I know if there is anyone who

Deserves to be there, it's you

My grandpa was an amazing man. I looked up to him in endless ways. I miss him a lot. But I know that I will see him again. And even though he isn't here physically, I can feel him here spiritually. I know he is still with us watching over us. I love you grandpa.

life lesson?

so maybe this is just a life lesson, i don't know. its been on my mind for the last month, and i wasn't sure if i was even going to post this or not. but i feel like i need to. maybe if i write all this down i'll stop thinking about it day after day. so here it goes...

At the end of march a new girl moved in three houses down from me. she was my age. so it was perfect. finally someone my age. i mean there are two girls but one is a couple years older and the other is just a couple years younger. so a girl that was exactly my age was basically...perfect. she was really sweet and nice and a lot of fun to be around. then she started coming to school. i saw a whole new side of her. but at first i didn't really realize it. my parents did. and my friends did. for some reason i didn't see that she was mean and nasty and rude. at school she was the cool new girl and i was the cool new girls best friend. thats how people knew me now. i heard people saying look thats the new girls friend. i didn't understand that that was a bad thing. she is in foster care, so she has had a different life than i have, she learned things differently than i did. she had different values than i do. the second week that she was here, she started telling people that her and i did drugs together after school together everyday. i had a seventh grader, no joke, come up and ask me if i had any weed i would sell him. this new girl started making out with all of the drugee kids at our school. yes there really are drugees at my school. we have had a couple drug busts this year. anyways... i started changing myself...i changed how i acted....who i was around, which was usually her. i changed myself so that she would like me more and more. in fact i was trying to be more like her. looking back i acted a lot like her. i was more outgoing and loud...cuz usually i'm really quiet and i keep to myself. but i got to be more talkative. but it wasn't a good thing. i slowly started to realize that my friends were really pissed off at me. i would text people and they wouldn't answer back. finally i went to school and started asking people if they were mad at me or something. they all said no. so i just kept hanging out with this girl not noticing that yes, my friends were really mad at me.

i remember the day that i finally truly realized that i was different like it was yesterday. my friend katelynn and i usually walk to sixth period together. but on this day, she didn't wait for me. she saw me and she gave me the dirtiest look i have ever seen and hurried off so she wouldn't have to deal with me. the feeling that came over me was terrible. i felt like i was going to throw up. she was one to tell me that she wasn't mad at me. i didn't understand what was going on. i came home practically in tears that day. i finally realized that people really hated me because i was friends with this girl. even people who didn't know me hated me because of her. i remember my mom said "see kaitlyn, i told you she was trouble, and you didn't believe me." So i decided to text people one more time asking if they were mad at me. i asked them to please tell me the truth. everyone that texted back replied with either a yes or kind of or ya i guess a little. i finally understood. i understood that this girl was trouble and i never saw it. i understood that i needed to get away from her as soon as i could. i understood that people really thought i was doing drugs. me, a girl taught to stay away from these things. i would never even consider doing any of these things. but people thought otherwise. i couldn't believe that people would believe all the rumors she spread. but thats in everyone i think. i know that i have believed things about people that are obviously not true. i just never thought i would be the one the rumor was about. after getting all the yes i am mad at you texts, i realized that i need to clear things up. and i needed to do it fast before other things started. as i explained to my friends what was going on and apologize a billion times plus some to everyone, they forgave me. the only thing left to do was to get this girl out of my life. i was up all night thinking about school the next day. i really didn't want to go. i didn't want to have to be around her. i started hating her. she had ruined my life. she made me ignore all of my friends just so that i could be friends with her. i prayed that for some reason she wouldn't be at school the next day. but luck was not on my side. she showed up at the bus stop. my first thought was to run back home. but what would i do then? my mom would just end up driving me to school and i would still have to deal with her. so running would have been stupid. instead, i decided to not really talk to her. i mean i was still nice but when she started asking me questions, i replied a short answer as possible. after a few days of trying to stay away from her she finally realized that i didn't like her. she started to stay away from me too. except at church. at church we were still buddy buddy. well she was anyway. the following sunday after this whole thing, she told me she was changing foster homes. i was relieved and mad at the same time. i was mad because i still felt that she was the only one my age that lived by me. part of me still wanted to be friends. but deep down i knew that this was a great thing. i knew that she needed to leave. she needed to be out of my life for good so that i wouldn't have anymore unrealistic rumors going around about me. i was beyond happy when i found out the exact date she was leaving. i was practically counting down the seconds. the day before she was gonna leave she told me that we should stay in touch, and i should give her my number so we could still talk and stuff. i told her that i don't think thats a good idea. she got really mad at me. i think she finally realized that i found out all of the stuff she had said about me. maybe she realized that she had done something wrong. who knows. but i hope that with this new family she will find out who she really is and she won't have to tell people lies to make her look cool. because honestly i know she can be a great person. she just needs to stop hiding behind lies and dragging other people into them. and now i am really glad she is gone. my life is back to normal and my friends no longer hate me. life is good. ha ha for now.

i also found something out. i don't know if its a "life lesson" or just junior high drama, but i learned that i just need to be me. i shouldn't change myself so that people will like me more. people love me because of me. not because of something i'm not. and if you can't love who i truly am, then thats your own problem. i am not going to change just for you. so that is just what i am going to do. from this moment forward i am going to be me and nothing else.

The Best Place Ever.......Bella Beach Oregon.....

The boys playin in the water...

Yaquina Head Lighthouse

(My favorite lighthouse)

Yaquina Head

Sunset at the Beach:)

The Bridge House..... wish I were still here...

So this is Bella Beach Oregon. The most BEAUTIFUL place on earth....at least i think so:) This vacation was a blast! Especially cuz I got to spend it with some pretty great people....i had so much fun in oregon even tho it was a little cold some of the time you hardly noticed cuz you were to busy looking at all the scenery. I really wish i were still there. I had so much fun with my family and really hope to go back soon.....

Girls Camp.....2009:]

The finished tent.....

rachel bein her little self! HAHAH

Buildin the tent....

Me and Rach....ha good times:D

Soo I guess I have been somewhat busy lately.....with school and all. yupp since the last time I posted I have entered 9th grade, and I hate it.... yupp that pretty much sums it up. Anyways, this is girls camp. this post is verrrry late but o well guess we will just have to deal with that! haha. Girls camp was in June and it was also at cherry hill. Yes, it really was at cherry hill. It was still fun though so all was good....sorda. I actually didn't stay the whole time. The second day of camp I got THE worst headache I have ever had in my entire life. (probably cuz lack of sleep + annoying beehives that don't zip their mouths= horrible headache.) So I went home considering that my house was like 2 miles away and got tons of sleep. The next day we went to Bountiful Rec and went swimming. It was a BLAST!! After swimming I went back home hung out for a while...... then i went to my young women presidents house for testimony meeting:] which is my FAVORITE part of girls camp....After testimony meeting we decided to spend the night at my leaders house because it was pouring rain and no one wanted to sleep in a wet tent. I really didn't want to stay but Rachel begged me not to leave her a lone with the beehives.... so i gave in and stayed over. So even though this year was crazy it was soooo much fun and i CAN'T wait until next year:)

Youth Conference. . . . :)

So I know I haven't blogged in a little while. . . all right it has actually been 5 months. I know that sounds really really bad but I've been REALLY lazy lately so I figure better late than never so here it goes. . . . Today I returned home from Youth Conference. I had a blast! I got to see all my friends and do pretty much whatever I wanted to without having to ask my mom first:) I left on thursday and we drove up to Pineview. There is a family in our ward that let us stay in their cabin. The cabin was awesome amd it was only down the street from the lake. I would show you a picture but umm. . . . I was too lazy to take any. . . .and my mom is kinda mad cuz she let me take her camera and she told me that I better take a minimum of 30 pictures. . . but i'm sure as you can tell I didn't take any. Anyway the when we got up there we pretty much just played games and talked and unpacked our stuff for the night. Later that night the girls decided we were going to try to pull an all nighter. I was not up for this at all. I LOVE to sleep. I would probably sleep all day if i could but I would be in big trouble. So I laid in my bed and tried to sleep but I couldn't over all of the laughter and singing (yes there was singing) and the flashes of pictures being taken. So I decided to get off my butt and join the party. By this time it was about 2 in the morning. After I got up the boys piled on up the stairs and joined our fun. Someone gave the idea of telling jokes. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. All the jokes were really stupid but we were all so high on sugar that we laughed anyway. Finally at about 3 in the morning the boys went downstairs to bed and us girls decided to watch The Princess Bride. Instead of watching it we all fell asleep for maybe five hours before the beehives got here. Oh boy wasn't that fun to have all the beehives and deacons downstairs running around and yelling come on lets get to the lake!!!!! So finally we pulled ourselves out of bed and got ready for a big day of BOATING:) Personally I don't think that the beehives and deacons should have been there at all, even though it was only to go boating, youth conference is for the older kids who are 14 and above. The rest of us had to wait to go all, why couldn't they? But our bishop decided that they could go so the older kids had to suck it up. We finally got Pineview lake. We got set up at the beach and started blowing up the tubes. Ahhh the tubes. So there is one called the Molecule. it has three balls and in the middle is a raft type thing. My friends Livia, Rachel, Kaitlyn, and I dibbed first ride. I don't know if I ever want to ride that thing again. It was CRAZY!! I was (of course) the first one to fall off. But I am happy to say it didn't hurt at all. So I climbed back on and braced myself for the next ride. This time my friend Rachel and I both started to fall of the edge. We were laughing as our heads were bouncing up and down off of the surface of the water. We both lost gripped and flipped into the water. We started swimming toward the boat as we see Livia and Kaitlyn in the water laughing. After falling off twice I decided it was time to go back to the beach and sit on my towel. And from lack of sleep the night before I fell asleep without putting some more sunscreen on. Now my face and legs are fried and they both feel like they are on fire. Other than the sunburn I had a BLAST and I can't wait to go again!!

My Hero....

This year for Young Women's New Beginnings we each had an opportunity to talk about our hero, and bring a picture. I chose my Aunt Julie. Above is the picture I chose, it is my favorite. She is my hero for many reasons. She takes me shopping, and I LOVE IT! She makes me laugh when she sings. She lives with MS everyday. I love you Julie.

Christmas Morning

I made both of the boys pillow cases with the help of

my aunt Kathi. They loved them!!

Christmas this year was awesome. I got everything I wanted plus some.

I gotta say my new camera is my favorite gift I have been wanting a new one

for a very long time. So here are some pictures I took with my camera:)